Disney

Here are some pictures from our visits to Disney. We had a blast!!!

3 months

Adjusting to life with an infant is much harder than I expected. Going back to work has been very difficult. It is getting harder to leave Jadon each day. I have even left the babysitter in tears a couple times in the last few weeks. I feel like he is going to forget me, because I am gone for so long each day. He is at such a fun age right now where he is smiling and laughing and starting some firsts. I am scared I am going to miss something that he does for the first time. This is my first baby and I want to be there for all his firsts. I know I will probably miss something, but I don’t want to.

I am very emotional right now, because I am juggling so much and struggling with it. There is so much to do at work to catch up on everything I missed while being on maternity leave. That’s tough, but I am doing what I can each day. All my free time I spend pumping. That has been kinda tough as well. Because I feel like I cannot pump enough even though my lactation consultant tells me I am doing fine. Also I feel like it is so time consuming, but I know it is worth it for Jadon. He deserves to have the best and my breastmilk is the best for him.

Ok all emotions aside…

Jadon is doing great! He is growing quickly and developing his own personality. He is now in size 2 diapers and 3 month clothes. I love spending time with him!!! If he is awake, I am playing with him. That means nothing gets done around the house. I know it will take time for me to juggle being back to work and doing everything at home.

What else?

Jadon is teething. He has his hands in his mouth all the time. He is drooling pretty bad sometimes and is fussy. I give him Tylenol once in awhile when he gets really fussy, but don’t want to give him too much medicine. It is tough not to know what is wrong with him sometimes. I am slowly learning his cries. He loves his tummy mat and plays on it everyday. His head is getting stronger everyday.

My mommy was here for awhile and was a huge help. So much got done while she was here. I want her back cause I cannot do it all myself. Lol

I LOVE being a mom, but at times I feel like I am not doing a good job. I want to do the best job I can, but I know I am putting a lot of pressure on myself.

I am getting very excited for winter break. 2 weeks off of school to spend with my baby. We leave for NY on Sunday and am excited about seeing family and friends. Although it is going to be very stressful having everyone fight over seeing us, well really the baby. No relaxing for me, I can already tell. But I am excited for the holidays and the first for Jadon. I cried the other day thinking about it being his first Christmas. I know I am crazy, but last year I couldn’t have even imagined having a baby this year for the holidays. It is a miracle and I am so blessed for what has happened this year.

2 months already

Oh where to begin. 2 months of ups and downs. Lots of joy, challenges, adjustments and many firsts. The first couple of weeks were really rough. It was tough to adjust to having someone who depends on you for everything, but not always knowing what they need. We tried things and if it worked, great, but if not we would try something new and eventually we got into a little routine. At night I would feed Jadon before going to bed and leave him in the living room with Jason while I went to sleep. He would bring him to me when he needed to eat. This worked out pretty good and is still sort of how we do things.

Breastfeeding has been a bit of a challenge from day 1. Jadon wouldn’t latch correctly and I became sore and frustrated very quickly. Then sometimes he would scream after he ate, burped and pooped. I didn’t know what was wrong or how to soothe him. Sometimes he would act like he wanted more to eat, but he just ate for 20 minutes and I didn’t want to feed him too much. As all moms know, the beginning is the hardest and it does get a little easier as time goes on. As for breastfeeding, I have an amazing lactation consultant that I see on a regular basis. Tara was in the delivery room when Jadon was born and has been there every step of the way since then. In the beginning when Jadon wasn’t latching right we went to Tara and she helped us with that. Jason forced me to go and I am glad he did. I felt stupid asking for help, but it was worth it. For those of you who think, “how hard can it be to breastfeed?”…well you must not have ever tried it, because it is rather difficult. Harder than I thought it would be, but I know the benefits and am determined to make it to 1 year with Jadon. I knew it would be hard for me, but I didn’t expect to struggle as much as I have. We no sooner got Jadon to latch correctly and then we got thrush.

What is thrush?

Thrush is a fungal infection (candida albicans) which can affect your breasts and your baby's mouth when he is breastfeeding.

Basically my breasts and nipples hurt 24/7 especially when I was breastfeeding. Jadon went through 2 different medications. I went through 1 nipple cream, 2 different medications and then the pharmacist had to create a special compound cream, which I had refilled 4 times already. It is something I wouldn’t wish even on my worst enemy. We had it for over 5 weeks and it was so painful. I never thought it was going to go away. When I would nurse or pump, it felt like broken glass in my breast because of the sharp pains. About half the people in my support group have it or had it. It is just really common right now, but I wouldn’t have known about it if it weren’t for Tara and the support group.

Jadon seemed to be having some stomach issues before we went to NY so Tara said I needed to eliminate dairy from my diet for a little while. Well I didn’t realize how difficult that was going to be or even all the things that had dairy in them that I didn’t know. Being in NY, I tried my hardest to avoid dairy, but it was tough.

Our trip to NY:

Jadon did awesome on the plane. On the way to NY, I fed him twice and he slept the rest of the time. Then on the way back home, I fed him once and he slept the rest of the time. While in NY, we visited with family and friends. Everyone loved him and didn’t want to put him down. I am glad we were able to go, because we got to see everyone. It was very overwhelming for Jadon and even me. He became very fussy with all the excitement. He was still only sleeping about 2-3 hours, which was rough on me, because Jason wasn’t there to help like he does at home and I felt like I was getting no sleep. Sometimes after he ate, he would just cry and not go back to sleep. Overall the trip was fun, but I was excited to get back home to our routine. 

Upon returning from NY and still being in pain, we went to see Tara. She discovered 2 things. First off with me: I was having Vasospasm’s and found out I have Raynaud’s Phenomenon. More info on that here… http://www.nbci.ca/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=52:vasospasm-and-raynauds-phenomenon&catid=5:information&Itemid=17

This is a whole other issue that I have been dealing with for 2 weeks now (well longer than that, but just now I know what it is.)

Then for Jadon:

I found out the reason he was crying so much was because of his stomach so Tara said I needed to go off dairy, whey protein, soy, eggs and basically everything in my book. Lol. Well I thought dairy was in everything, until I had to go off soy. That truly is in everything. We have been doing in for a little over a week now and it is getting better. In the beginning it wasn’t and we realized that there was soy in my vitamins. Go figure, I never checked them, because who would have thought?

Now he is just spoiled. When he was having so many problems with his stomach, we would hold him and soothe him and comfort him and now that is what he wants all the time. He cries when you put him down and it has been a struggle to break him of it. He has a strong will and even my mom (who is in town right now) is having trouble with it. Not only is he spoiled with that, but he loves his pacifier. We had to start him on that, because he wanted to suck all the time and was miserable. It did help him soothe with his belly issues and also helped him sleep longer. We now have him sleeping between 6-8 hours (this past week) and it has been great since now I am back to work.

Being back to work:

My first day back to work, daddy was home with Jadon. I called and text him all day long to check on him. He was fussy all day, but daddy made it through. Now my mom is home with him, because she is in town for a couple weeks. I have nothing to worry about. They are having a great time (except when he is fussy and wants to be held), but Grandma loves holding him so it is a win-win. J I am sad that I have to be back at work and not home with him, but we are doing ok. Now that he is using a bottle more, my nipples are sore again, but I am hanging in there. It will all get better as time goes on and we all adjust.

Daddy says he just wants one baby, because this is hard and he doesn’t want to do it again. We will see! I want another one in a couple years, because I don’t want Jadon to be the only child. Time will tell and it doesn’t even really need to be discussed right now. He is a great dad and I am blessed to have his help.

Being a mom has taught me many things so far, but besides all the love I have for him that I never thought was possible, I have learned patience (well I am still working on it). I can’t believe how different our lives are; with everything we are doing surrounding this little baby. I love it! Although things are tough at times, when he smiles at me, it makes it all better. He is growing up so fast and getting so big. He is a little chunkier, but I think that is because for a week when I thought he was going through a growth spurt, he ate all the time and gained a lot. We had his 2 month check up with shots Tuesday Nov. 20. He is 12lbs 8oz and 23 inches. I didn't like him getting the shots, but he did good. Uncle Josh, Aunt Emily & cousin Madelyn came into town on Tuesday as well, and we had a busy week with them. We went to Disney a few times and had a great time. I have just been so busy that I couldn’t sit down long enough to type this up. Well I am actually typing this in a word document at school when I get a chance throughout the day and then will copy and paste it with pictures when I get home. Lol. Gotta do whatcha gotta do when you have time.